The Life O' Keith: Kelly's Bachelorette Party

Wow, I cannot believe how fast time flies when you are having fun! I mean it seems like just yesterday I was planning this little soiree and now it has come and gone. Oh well, at least I still have my memories and let me tell you something, these girls made me some crazy, fun memories. With that being said, I can't post most of my pictures because they involve a certain anatomy (all fake) that would force me to turn into an 18 and older site who charges $9.99 for a peek. This is a family friendly blog, so I will warn those who proceed that I have attempted to "block out" any offensive material, including red squares over anything that could get me booted off this site. We started the party at Kelly's house where we socialized, had some appetizers and drinks, and played a few games. This is also where the blowup doll "Peter Pecker" made his debut and became a mainstay of the party.

The first damn picture had to be red boxed out. You can see where this night is headed. Kelly with her feather boa and her......ahem....."man" wand.

Greg was able to take about 45 seconds of the party before he bolted back upstairs. Can you blame him with all the Estrogen that was in the room?

Hi....ummmmm....can someone tell me where I can find my mother? Oh, behind the bar doing shots with the girls she just met 5 minutes ago! Okay, thanks just checking!!! Katie and Aunt Robin Aunt Robin and mom getting ready to play "Pin the Hose on the Firefighter." And yes, it is as dirty as it sounds! Katie, Kelly, and Aunt Robin

And introducing Peter Pecker....he was the life of the party. I had to compete with him for all of the girl's affection that night.

This is Suck & Blow and this one isn't as dirty as it sounds. In fact, it is a Burgess Party tradition. You grab a card, put it to your mouth and suck in to make it stay on your lips. Then try passing it to the other person by blowing it to their lips, while they suck in. Okay, maybe that does sound dirty. P.S. - Look at the shirt my sister made me..."Bride's Man of Honor." Every straight guys dream seeing two hot girls about to go mouth to mouth with nothing but a thin card between them and yet it is completely wasted on me! Katie Swan won again! That is three years in a row. And to boot, she wins a deck of "Hot Guy" cards to practice with. I guess we know what Katie will be doing until the wedding day! Katie and I

So, now we are in our limo on our way to Coyote Joe's. Our driver's name was Reggie (Reginald) and he was awesome! He was wearing a black and white checker patterned suit, white gloves, and took us all one by one under his umbrella to every door the entire night. We had a stretch Ford Expedition SUV limo. Weeeeeell, okay that is how we started the night. Then it broke down and so we ended the night in a Lincoln Navigator Stretch SUV limo. All the girls got cowboy hats before entering Coyote Joe's which is a country bar. We also put in a hot country CD to get the party started early. And of course our Bachelorette got the hottest hat of them all....a pink tiara cowboy hat that flashed colors within the tiara. This hat had Kelly Burgess written ALL over it! She was made to wear it. Peter Pecker playing the role of the lonesome cowboy. Mom and Aunt Robin singing in the limo...who knew Aunt Robin was a country girl. She knew all the songs!! Coyote Joe's was a really cool bar, except for the fact that it was loaded with wall to wall women which didn't bode well for the hottest Bachelorette Party in the United States. They wanted some men to buy them drinks and shake them loose on the dance floor. Oh well, at least there was a bull riding machine....more on that in a second. We looked really cool when we pulled up the bar because this is when our limo decided to malfunction. We pulled up, the limo stalled, Reggie re-started it and it stalled again. This little charade went on for about 3 minutes. It is hard to walk out of a stretch limo like you are the life of the party, when right in front of the door everyone sees your limo stall 15 times in a row. Amy and I Kelly and Amy Kelly, Katie, and Bridget Maria, Kelly, and Krissy Maria, Bonnie, Kelly, and Melissa Mom, Kelly, Katie, and Aunt Robin Erin, Kelly, and Amy Okay, everyone has a bad picture from time to time, but Kelly takes the cake with this one. It looks like she is about to chuck wood and build a dam. I am not posting it to be mean, but I made Kelly take a picture with all the girls at the bar, so this was the only one I had with Nicole and Aunt Robin. Katie, Maria, Kelly, and Krissy It's me, Aunt Robin's mouth on the left, and the back of mom's head on the right! The whole gang! What guy could be lucky enough to hang out with 13 beautiful women at one time? Oh, it was me. Eat your heart out guys! I have no idea..... Did I just get goosed? If they ever make the movie Mannequin 3, I think I am shoe in.