Sunday, June 15, 2008

Gay Camping....A "Fairy" Tale

Inquiring minds want to know....what could possibly set gay camping apart from straight camping? I wish I could say nothing, but after a weekend in the wilderness with a gaggle of gays, my answer has to be....absolutely everything. From outward appearances, you would think nothing could be different as seen in the following picture:
But unzip one of those bad boys and you will have unleashed Pandora's Box, which apparently comes with a full set of freshly pressed embroidered pillow covers, a comforter with matching throw cover, and the two latest issues of Martha Stewart Living. I wish I could say this was staged, but let's be honest, gays don't really like to "rough it" in the wilderness. Seriously, this is not staged. See the magazines and the throw at the end of the bed. And they had an air mattress that elevated them nearly to the middle of the tent. Seriously, it was knee height. This is Ken and Mike's tent.
Friday Night:
We took it easy and cooked up non-normal camping fare which was a huge plus for me because I ate better camping than I do in my own house. BBQ chicken, red baby potatoes and carrots with Rosemary, and bakery buns.
Jon and Paige maxin' and relaxin'!!

Jon

The Thinking Man's pose...I was thinking "wow, we are REALLY gay!"

We had the best radio station EVER and Jon got into it by playing a little stick guitar! Earth, Wind, and Fire tribute band, here he comes!!

Threatening skies plagued us a good part of our trip and I only included this picture so I could even remotely begin to explain the picture that follows it.....

Jon wearing a bright orange poncho to avoid the ran. However, it also seemed to bring out the dancer in him as every time he put it on, he began to spin and twirl as seen here.

A tent fell on the Wicked Witch of the East, only her shoes remained.

Ahhhhhhhh......

Jon dipping into our boxed Pomegranate Margaritas. Wait, is he drinking out of a plastic wine glass?

Wait, Paige is drinking out of a plastic wine glass too! And I believe that is a lime garnishing his glass. Another difference between gay and straight campers.

Me basting the chicken. The smoke was so bad, I had to wear glasses.

The Master-Baster!

Eating Dinner

Saturday Morning

Travis, Paige, and I. Paige is holding the sausages we had for breakfast and I am trying to warm my hands over the griddle.

Saturday Afternoon/Evening

Pre-hiking picture...L to R: Mike, Ken, Jon, Paige, Travis

The most unflattering picture of me that has EVER BEEN TAKEN! From L to R: Mike, Ken, Candy Cantaloupes, Paige, and Travis. Seriously, don't I look like at least a B-cup.

Prior to entering the hiking trail. They look like part of the Gay Mafia.

Mike and I

Jon skipping stones

Just goofing around

Jon and Travis climbing trees

Video of Jon climbing trees or I should say attempting to get out of a tree he had climbed up.

Me cooking burgers. This was the first time I have EVER grilled burgers on my own.

Paige measuring rice in one of our plastic wine glasses.

Me riding my bike around the camp just waiting for the crew to get back so we can start drinking.

Gay as the day is long.

Notice Paige's finger....he is pointing out the fact that the "Alcohol is in it." Highly recommended for people who like to drink. They were delicious.

After a few cocktails, I was pretending to be the guys at the airport with the orange flares who guides the planes in to the gates.

Jon knocking back another one.

Sunday Morning

We were in an "walk-in" campsite which means you are have to haul your crap for like a half-mile in this wheel burrow thingy. Jon goofing around in it.

Surfin' Sufari

6 comments:

The Jagow Family said...

Seriously the funniest post EVER...I was in tears reading some of the commentary!! It looks like everyone had a great time, as I did reading about it! :)

Jon said...

Seriously...that was the best camping trip ever. Of course, that's not saying much since this was my first real camping trip. After further examination of that designer poncho and some of our "gayer moments" I think I'm gonna sign up to be a contestant on the next season of "Project Runway." I might just be fierce enough to give Christian a run for his money!

another wannabe parent said...

The entire weekend reeked of general fabulousness. I would like to be on the record stating that mine was the butchest of tents, with no air mattresses or linens. My chiropractor will vouch for that! Let us also not forget the little old lady who was randomly handing out cookies and milk alongside the bike trail in Welch. Now that I think about it, it was very "Sleeping Beauty" of her.

Anonymous said...

Hold on...I'm still wiping the tears out of my eyes from laughing so damn hard...Keith, your ta tas ARE bigger than mine!

Anonymous said...

This looks like it might just have been the greatest trip ever! I'm so sad I couldn't make it. And by "couldn't make it," I mean "wasn't invited."

I don't know why you wouldn't want to hang out all the time with someone as fun and non-bitter as me!

Anonymous said...

You write very well.

A virtual perspective to "The Life O' Keith" for the 6 people who actually read this blog.