The Life O' Keith

New Years Eve

2009-01-04T16:47:00.000-06:00

Jon and I hosted a New Years Eve party this year. It was a lot of fun!! There was a ton of food, desserts, karaoke, Rock Band, and party favors which helped us ring in 2009 in style. We also had a pajama contest for who wore the coolest pajamas. Andrew and Jacob won because they showed up in matching pajamas which was too sweet to pass up the prize. This is our Christmas tree. Notice the red bags surrounding the tree. Jon and I made one for each of our party guests. The bags contained tacky party favors which of course we encouraged people to wear and use for the rest of the evening. Me putting out the nuts and pretzels before the party starts. Jon standing at the top of the steps wearing the new sweater I bought him. Jon and Garbo Kitty. Garbo Kitty looks grumpy, but it is probably because he just got chased down by the dogs two seconds previously. Jon sampling the food....does he approve or did he just get goosed? Andrew and Jacob wearing matching pajamas. Matt doing something weird while Dave walks into the kitchen. Dave is sometimes plagued by his one photo-shy eye which doesn't want to quite open all the way up sometimes. The crew opening their bags....Andrew and Paige.

Matt and Ryan opening their bags. And yes, Matt is wearing a tiara.

Dave modeling his hat and mask combo.

Dave looking very reminiscent of Michael Stipe of R.E.M fame. Notice his swirly straw....another party favor in the bag.

Jon in his New Years hat blowing his party horn. If you can think of a way to not make that sound dirty, please be my guest. Seriously, it is impossible because I tried.

Me modeling my New Years hat on the fireplace. I look like one of those 50 year old female McDonald's workers who doesn't want to mess up their hair so they barrette the hat on top of their bangs.

Andrew playing drums on Rock Band while Jacob looks on.

Paige and Garbo Kitty. Paige is the Cat Whisper because both of my cats couldn't get enough of him. And look at his stylish pajamas to boot!

Jacbo playing the guitar on Rock Band. Jam on wit yo bad self!

A group shot. Andrew is playing drums and Dave is playing guitar while the rest of watch on.

Paige as the lead singer of Rock Band.

Matt being Matt

Jon in his Homer Simpson pajamas, top hat, with his karate kid party favor, and blowing his horn. He also has a glow in the dark braclet on.

Matt doing an anti-gay curse on himself that he saw on the Discovery Channel made famous by the Zu-Lu tribe. Trust me....it sooooooo didn't work!

Andrew and Jacob......ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Me in my Grinch pajamas and top hat!

Happy New Years!

2009-01-02T11:45:00.000-06:00

I wish everyone a Happy 2009 and hope that your resolutions hold out at least a week. My resolution two years ago broke the record I think for how quickly it failed. My resolution was to not make fun of strangers, but the girl on the television at Dick Clark's Rockin' New Years Eve Bash after the ball dropped should not have been wearing that yellow hat, with a pink scarf and I felt it was my place to say it out loud. Oops, resolution failed in 37 seconds. While 2008 saw some big changes in my life, 2009 promises to bring the beginning of the biggest and best changes.

One - I turn 30 this year! Seriously, where does the time go? As Truvy (Dolly Parton) says in my favorite movie of all time, Steel Magnolias...."time marches on and sooner or later you realize it is marching across your face!" 30 is going to find me with much less hair than 20 did, a few more wrinkles, and definitely a few more lbs. around the mid-section. One thing that 30 brings me that 20 did not is the knowledge to understand how insignificant these things are in the big picture of my life. Which brings me to number two...
Two - I am getting married, hitched, partnered, committed, whatever you want to call it. So we are two men and it isn't legal in the State of MN, who cares? We don't care about the piece of paper, after all it is all the hard work and commitment that makes a marriage, not a piece of paper. We just want a fair shake at love like the rest of the world. Jon and I aren't activists in general, but this is a way for us to show the world that our relationship should be taken as serious as anyone elses. Jon enriches my life in so many ways and it pains me to think that somebody wouldn't want to know him for example just because he wants to commit himself to me, another guy. Despite the haters of the world, Jon and I are thrilled to begin a life together!!
Three - My first REAL vacation....and to Mexico nonetheless. Granted, it is my honeymoon, but I have never taken a full week, dished out as much money as I have for one single vacation. Me gusta daiquiris y siestas? Si, si!

It is my hope that 2009 brings my family and friends health, love, and happiness. Please be safe and have a Happy New Year!!

Skiing in Vail, CO

2008-12-22T12:58:00.010-06:00

Jon, his mom (Sandy), and I hopped a plane for a little bit of skiing in Vail, CO. Vail is special to Jon and I in the first place as that was the place he proposed (ahhhh....memories). Vail is especially special to Jon because he is a natural born skier. Get him to Vail and all you will see is a cloud of snow trailing behind him as he cruises down a black (hard) or double-black (really hard) diamond mountainside. I on the other hand, preferred the safe and cautious approach. That is ski five feet.....stop.....ski five feet.....fall.....cry......fall again.....lose a ski....ski five feet....etc. No, actually I didn't do too bad and I think Jon was pleased with my skills. I am DEFINITELY excited to go back again soon. The Village Square is too damn cute for words and the skiing is killer (beyond the bitter cold we faced which is not typical). I was thrilled to get to know Jon's mom in a manner beyond a dinner here and a dinner there. We really had a chance to learn a lot about each other and I think it was good for everyone involved. This is Jon's "I'm so excited I am going to pee on myself" face. We had just gotten to our hotel and weren't even going to go skiing until the next day. Still, he was as enthusiastic as ever! Jon gearing up for our first day of skiing. He was like a kid in a candy store. I on the other hand was very nervous at this point.

Sandy doing the same....

Me....looking like I put on 50 lbs. This is right before the ski lift opened and I was scared, scared, scared!

The first night out we went to dinner. The Village is decorated with Christmas lights, trees, wreaths, etc. I just loved it. Here is Jon and I at one of the Christmas trees.

Thank God my snow pants are black and you cannot see the unfortunate crotch taco the suspenders gave me.

Me at the top of Eagle's Nest. It was cloudy this particular day, but wow, even so it is such beautiful scenery.

Sandy and I

The Ninja Warrior with a look of fierce determination after being told a hamburger, fries, and Gatorade cost $25. Say what?

Jon and his suspenders. We both learned what it will be like when we are 65 and only suspenders will keep our pants from dropping below our knees.

Sandy getting ready for another day of skiing.

Our group photo.....ohhhhhhhh!

Me modeling my brand new Vail shirt. Actually, Sandy bought it for me for Christmas.

Sandy eating an onion ring.

Me devouring an onion ring. Skiing + Cold Weather = Hungry Keithy

Jon in front of the ice skating rink. You can see snowflakes in the foreground. I am so artistic in my photographs.

Jon standing under a lamppost.

The escalator down was broken, so I snapped this puppy as Jon and his mom were coming down the stairs.

However, the escalator up worked just fine....

If you look close enough, this was the exact moment in the trip when Jon's mom realized I am certifiably insane (but in a fun way of course). If she didn't know about my penchant for goofy pictures before the trip....I guess she does now.

Jon thought it would be funny with me standing under a "One Track Mind" sign. And in fact, he was right.

Sandy and I shopping...

Shop til' I drop

I have no idea

Ignore the Chex Mix and eye in on the apron, which Jon thought I should wear in the kitchen. True, oh so true!

Me lying on my pillow. Could my nose be any bigger in this picture?

Baby Burgaken

2008-11-27T12:17:00.004-06:00

Okay, so Jon and I thought it would be a good idea to see what our genes might look like when combined together. Maybe it is a good thing that they haven't figured out how to make a baby with two men's genes because apparently it creates a fungus-like growth on the baby's upper lip. FYI....this is a baby girl and her name would have been Joth Burgaken, which is a unique combination of both of our first and last names. We liked that better than Joke McMaburg.

Major Formatting Issues

2008-11-11T11:19:00.001-06:00

Okay, I would like to state for the record that while I am formatting my blog, everything looks and behaves as normal. The second I publish my blog, the spacing gets all funky, my paragraphs run together, my fonts change color, my pictures move, etc. Also, out of nowhere, the spellcheck has stopped working. This is EXTREMELY frustrating and I would just like to say that I would never intentionally do this and strive for high quality, but this is totally beyond my control. Okay, I am off of my soap-box now.

The Rehearsal and Rehearsal Dinner

2008-11-07T05:18:00.005-06:00

The church rehearsal and rehearsal dinner ALMOST went off without a hitch, but how could we tell stories about it for years to come if it weren't for a little bit of drama. Let's see, Kelly got her first bit of bride-gone-off-the-deep end moments prior to the rehearsal which was totally understandable, but also a little bit on the scary side. Just kidding of course......as long as you didn't make eye contact with her. No, she did great and had done such great planning that there wasn't much that could have gone wrong really. The rehearsal was great and it gave us a chance to interact with the rest of the bridal party and meet those we hadn't meet before. The rehearsal dinner was held at Macaroni Grill and was tons o' fun. Kelly and Greg made a nice heartfelt speech and gave out the bridal party gifts. Mine was a gift certificate to Banana Republic, a kitty cat who poos jelly beans, and a beautiful picture frame with family inscriptions on it with a hand drawn picture of me, Jon, Kelly, and Greg in our wedding day attire. Kelly said the hand drawn picture was only until we had a real wedding picture to replace it, but I told her I think the picture she drew was way too cool to replace. The only REALLY bad thing that happened on Friday was a little incident involving Jon, a funny joke my dad told, Jon leaning back for a huge laugh, him sitting on the edge of the bed, falling off the bed and onto his back to the ground, and really hurting his back bad. I knew it had to hurt because all the color drained from his face, he started shaking uncontrollably (as if he went into shock), and he had to go to the doctors to be sure he hadn’t broken a bone. He is very, very sore now, but at least nothing was broken. I guess my dad wins joke teller of the year!!! From top to bottom: Dad, Kent, and Mom Kelly "happily" standing next to the sign the hotel made welcoming her to the hotel. At least the Burgess-Giera Wedding got top booking over Pam's Scrapbooking or Kelly might have taken the manager out at the knee caps. Jon sat in the front seat on the way to the rehearsal and had the cahoonies to take a picture of Kelly right after we got stuck in a massive traffic jam that threatened to make us late to the church. Her eyes alone say, "back the camera away from my face." This is one of my favorite pictures of the whole weekend. Classic father/daughter moment.

The bridal party from behind.

Jon's first physical contact with a girl left him sweaty and confused.

Kelly mid-bite and with a glass of white wine in front of her. Nothing calms the nerves like a big ole' glass of white wine.

A candid shot of the bride and groom.

Denise who sat through dinner with a tiny piece of bacon on her forehead that nobody noticed but me. They all thought it was a beauty mark, but I knew better.

Kelly "attempting" to give a speech that lasted all of 5 seconds before she completely fell to pieces and started crying in a good way of course. Greg took over from there.

Tim, Jon, and Denise.

Joyce, Kelly, and Mom

Katie and I.

My cousin's Austin and Nick.

Rusty's tongue and Katie.

The Wedding Day

2008-11-07T04:53:00.008-06:00

Well, the wedding day couldn't have gone any better if Kelly and Greg had been given 5 years to plan it. Everything was gorgeous including the reception site, flowers, bridesmaids..... BUT especially the bride (special mention goes to the bride's mom who also looked more beautiful than I had ever seen)! Kelly looked like she belonged in a bridal gown magazine and her dress looked like an elegant layer cake. She was perfection from her beautiful hair to her beautifully manicured toes which were in her beautiful shoes. She was surprisingly as cool as a cucumber minus her walk down the aisle where she fought back tears of joy with a mixture of laughter. The ceremony was short and sweet and didn't have any major snafu's to report.

The reception was in a gorgeous building with beautiful decorations and went off without a hitch as well EXCEPT for a drunken bridesmaid from another wedding who tried to come into our receptions, steal a gift off the table, to pass it off as her own. Thank goodness Jon and Kelly's friend Amy were watching her like a hawk because we got the present back. The dance floor was always bumping, there was an ice sculpture of a G (for Giera) and a tooth through which they poured martini's, the food was delicious, and the chocolate fountain was a giant hit. Additionally, Kelly and Greg's first dance (to a Mariah Carey song) was sweet and I always get choked up at the father/daughter dance which was to "Through the Years" by Kenny Rogers. Of course bringing it back to me, I was sick with dread at screwing up my toast to Greg and Kelly, but with only a few minor hitches (a few momentary lapses of forgetfulness and trying to talk while holding back an impending flood of tears), it was a success and I am glad to have lived through it.

It was definitely an event to remember and Kelly and Greg should be proud of the beautiful ceremony and reception they put together. And for those inquiring minds that want to know....Mr. & Mrs. Giera are in 85 degree Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic as I type this blog in 32 degree Minneapolis.

The bride drinking a Memosa and getting her hair started.

Dear God! What are they doing to Denise?

Katie Swan getting her locks prepared for the 105 bobby pins that would eventually be put into her hair. Yowsa!

The finished product! Kelly looked like a princess with her tiara and vail.

The salon took good care of us while we were there. They provided us with Memosa's and food. From L to R: Joyce, Denise, and my mom.

Denise showing us her huge "bouquets," but like most women, her left one is a little bit bigger than her right.

Denise, me, and Katie

One of my favorite pictures of the whole day. Jon snapped this candid little photo on the way to the ceremony.

Me, Jon, and Denise in the limo

Mom and Kelly in the limo

The gorgeous bride right before the ceremony starts...

The dress from behind

Mom helping Kelly put on the finishing touches and it show time!

The Bridal Party after the completion of the ceremony.

Me, Denise, Katie Swan, and Katie Davis right after the ceremony.

This was the ice sculpture though which the bartender poured martinis to make them ice cold. You can see the cursive G clear as day, but can you see anything else not immediately visible to the naked eye? How about a tooth?

Katie Swan and I at the head table.

Kelly and Greg's first dance.....awwwwww!!!!

Greg and Kelly cutting into their cake

Jon and Denise hamming it up!

My mom's cousin Chuckie and my mom.

Greg striking his best Uncle Sam pose.

Denise better not be trying to put the moves on my man...

Me looking a sweaty mess after a night of dancing.

Kelly living it up at the reception

Mom and dad busting a move on the dance floor.

My cousins Austin and Shelby with Aunt Robin.

Uncle Randy and Austin. Me, Katie, and Jon

If there was nobody else on the dance floor, you could always count on the Fab Four...me, mom, Joyce, and Aunt Robin. We were ALWAYS dancing.

An end of the night shot if you couldn't tell. Denise....hoping she was Cinderalla....just turned into into a Drunken Pumpkin when she found out the shoe didn't fit.

The next morning. Denise removed her bobby pins the night before, but with all the product and hairspray, this is what she looked like the second she woke up. Jon and I laughed for 10 minutes straight.

Howard, SD

2008-10-10T06:04:00.003-05:00

Okay, I am a little behind the 8-ball with this post, but that is because I knew it was going to be another big one. We took a ton of pictures and crammed a lot of stuff into one weekend, so I knew I needed to wait until I had the time to dedicate to a good post. Well, for those of you that don't know, I recently took a road trip to Howard, SD with Matt, Dave, and Ryan. Jon had to stay home and be the responsible one between the two of us because of the dogs. It would have been just too expensive to kennel the dogs for such a quick weekend road trip. I am sure you are thinking what I was thinking...why Howard, SD? Weeeeeeelllll, it is the hometown of the famous Miss Matt Laible, Star Trek Aficionado & Queen of Vulcans. Okay, I am getting way ahead of myself here with the Star Trek talk, but you'll see. Our real purpose was to see the opening of Matt's mom's new coffee shop which was absolutely the cutest damn little coffee shop I had ever seen. In our two and half day trip, we went balls to the wall with the amount of activities we managed to fit in. On Friday, we drove 5 hours to Sioux Falls, SD, went out to the bar with Matt's brother and sister-in-law, and spent the night at their beautiful brand new house. On Saturday, we then drove 45 minutes to Mitchell, SD, home of the Corn Palace. When we rolled up to Mitchell, we realized their was a full-on parade in our honor or at least we like to believe that. We visited the Corn Palace and then were off for another 45 minute car ride to Howard, SD. We went straight to the coffee shop, had lunch, visited with Matt's mom and dad. We headed back to Matt's house and took a tour of his parent's digs. We then took Matt's grandpa's golf cart on a tour around town, but there was only enough room for 3 people, so I rode a bike alongside the cart. I think it was the strangest damn site that town had seen in 60 years. We ate dinner, went out to the local watering hole where we heard the worst/best karaoke in years. On Sunday, we had breakfast with Matt's family, visited his maternal grandpa at the nursing home, visited his paternal grandma at her home, and then took off for home. In between, there was lots of food, ice cream, Mad Libs, and uggggghhhhh, Star Trek Trivia. However, let me state for the record Ryan and I didn't participate. We just shook our heads and wondered how our friends traveled down such a dark and dirty road towards the dark side. The first picture from the trip....the Cheddar Cheese Chex Mix alone told us the trip was going to be good.

You thought I was kidding? Oh no, Matt and Dave both can spout off the license plate numbers of any Star Trek ship, plane, or floating house (whatever those damn things are called) like they are spouting off their social security numbers. Scary? A little.

A giant Buffalo we encountered on our way through Mankato. Coincidentally, we ate just moments later at Buffalo Wild Wings.....hmmmmm??? Maybe now that I think about it, it looks more like a Bison. I'll get back to you on it.

The Dairy Queen we visited where they prematurely shut off their lights to avoid customers. When we found out, we were pretty pissed and so Ryan did them the favor of turning it back on (without them noticing) and a huge rush followed behind us. They didn't look happy at all, but serves them right. How did they pay us back? This large, sweaty woman, with tattoos put on by a ink pen had employees wiping sweat off her face with a napkins AS SHE MADE OUR BLIZZARDS. Ewwwwww!!

Saturday morning and the inside of Matt's bro and sister-in-law's house.

I heart this giraffe. I wanted to steal it, but instead I looked at it longingly.

Outside of the house: Me, Dave, and Matt.

This was the parade when we got to Mitchell, SD. Yes, that car says the Corn Palace Hillbillies which appropriately set the tone for our visit.

The smoke is caused from the hillbilly car starting, stalling, sputtering, shooting sparks, and generally in need of a tune up.

Dave with Zeke.

The parade heading toward the Corn Palace (seen on the left hand side).

The Corn Palace. Yes, the entire outside decoration is made out of corn. The writing, decorations, etc.

Dave and Ryan

The welcome sign inside the building.

Matt, Dave, and Ryan inside the gymnasium.

An Indian Mosaic made completely out of corn.

I bought a gag gift for Jon which was a lapel pin, but it was far too fashionable to not share with the folks of Mitchell. Ryan pinning the fashionable pin on my jacket.

The pin made of feathers of some animal and the faces of Mt. Rushmore. I saw Gwenyth Paltrow wearing something similar to the Oscars.

Doesn't it look smashing??

While they look like the Gangs of New York....rough, tough, and ready to rumble, the most hurtin' these gals will lay on you is telling you not to wear horizontal strips, synthetic fabric, or white shoes after Labor Day.

Outside Higher Grounds Coffee Shop.

Standing in front of the fire place at Higher Grounds.

Standing in front of the fire place at Higher Grounds with Matt's mom and dad.

The girls looking out of the bedroom window. This actually was NOT staged even though we commented that the room felt very Victorian Bed and Breakfast.

Meanwhile this picture was TOTALLY staged and represents my deepest sadness of not having a Senior Picture where the curtain gently caressed my face.

The bike I rode while the Larry, Mo, and Curly got to ride in a golf cart.

Looks way more comfy than a damn bike doesn't it.

An action shot....I am the model of athleticism even in designer duds.

An action shot as I rode the bike and they zoomed past me.

In front of Matt's house.

In front of the famous "Welcome to Howard" sign. Matt actually drove us like 10 miles out of the way so we could come in the front entrance of the town and see this sign. I feel like I have now lived a complete life having seen it.

Dave in front of the Howard water tower.

Mindy's Wedding

2008-10-04T08:18:00.003-05:00

My manager's wedding was on the 4th of October which was one of the most beautiful Autumn days we had seen in a long, long time. Mindy looked beautiful in her dress. It was attended by a lot of my co-workers who were also meeting Jon for the first time. As usual, he was received with open arms and everyone had nothing but gushing reviews about him. It was a very nice ceremony followed by a reception at the Edina Country Club (uuuu-la-la). We had a great time, especially because of the free top shelf booze, but also definitely because of the company. My camera batteries ran out right at the beginning of the ceremony, so pardon all of the cell phone pictures. I strive for quality, but sometimes you have to make due with what you've got. Mindy walking down the aisle with her father. The church from the back row (where we were seated). Dude, what's up with that? Michael and Mindy's first walk as each others ole' ball-n-chain. My co-worker Barb (or B, Babs, B-Double Dizzle) during the cocktail reception. Our table...from L to R: Jon, Michelle, Barb, Kathy Jo, Jeff (KJ's husband). Michelle and Barb Instead of centerpieces, Mindy had cakes in the center of each table which was such a cool idea and so beautiful. The first cell phone picture of the night....why does one side of my head look slanted? I am sure I was feeling no pain during this picture... Mindy and her Grandpa dancing... Barb with a decorative leaf from our table behind her ear. My co-worker posse. These are the girls I spend most of my life with. I see them more than I do Jon! Ahhh, I love this picture.

Duluth, MN - 2008

2008-09-30T20:03:00.019-05:00

Jon and I went on our 2nd Annual "Up North Color Seeing Tour." We were a little early for the colors, but that doesn't mean that we didn't see some beautiful sites. We stayed at an indoor water park which was a ton of fun despite the three million children yelling and screaming. We went out with Jon's co-worker Heather on Friday night and had the biggest blue margaritas known to man. We went on a color tour train ride on Saturday and while it was nice, it wasn't exactly what we were expecting. All of the windows had a green tint on them which made it hard to get a real good look at the colors. The train went two hours North, we had a layover in Two Harbors, and then two hours back to Duluth. On Sunday, after a big brunch, we went to the grounds of the Glensheen Mansion and shot some beautiful pictures. Afterall, there is no better place to take pictures and be charged $5 admission than at the site of a beautiful mansion where a heinous murder had taken place years earlier. Overall it was a lot of fun, but as usual, went by way too fast.

"All Aboard"

My attempt at an artistic shot...hey bald dude, move your head!

Dude, seriously!!

Me on the train with the green tinted glass

Jon reflecting on the world through green tinted glass.

Jon thinking about how we ended up on a train with 150 couples all over the age of 70.

Jon threatened to jump out the window if I didn't give in to his demands....a bag of Gardetto's from the snack bar.

The train stopped right in the middle of a bridge and this was right in front of Jon and I's window. Josh, if you are out there....it is okay to be different!

And Randy, if you're out there, it isn't nice to brag!!

The steam train itself was actually really cool and it isn't often you get to see something this old working so good. This was the steam engine that pulled our train.

Our stop in Two Harbors. Me and the moose.

Jon doing his best chuga-chuga-chuga-chuga-choooo-choooo impression.

Me inside the train and Jon outside the train

And again...

Jon's attempt at an artistic picture. Sooooo pretty!

Jon re-living his days as model

I can't tell if it is the sweatshirt or my face that is making me look fat. Or maybe it is the 6 lbs. of chocalate I devoured before coming to this place.

Pretty background, not so pretty foreground. Seriously, I could not take a good picture to save my soul that day.

Jon skipping stones.

It was so pretty

There were all kinds of cool little places to take a picture....I loved this glass window.

Jon and I near the fountain.

Oh, this was the most beautiful tree EVER! It was so vibrant orange!

Sir Jon Mix-A-Lot

2008-09-29T17:15:00.004-05:00

We picked up a couple of pom-pom's for a gag gift for our friend Ken who was celebrating his birthday. Jon apparently was "testing them out" beforehand to make sure they worked okay. Hey, you can't fault a boy for getting excited when Sir Mix-A-Lot comes on the radio shouting he "likes butts and he cannot lie!"

Kelly's Bachelorette Party - Part 1

2008-09-16T15:34:00.027-05:00

Wow, I cannot believe how fast time flies when you are having fun! I mean it seems like just yesterday I was planning this little soiree and now it has come and gone. Oh well, at least I still have my memories and let me tell you something, these girls made me some crazy, fun memories. With that being said, I can't post most of my pictures because they involve a certain anatomy (all fake) that would force me to turn into an 18 and older site who charges $9.99 for a peek. This is a family friendly blog, so I will warn those who proceed that I have attempted to "block out" any offensive material, including red squares over anything that could get me booted off this site. We started the party at Kelly's house where we socialized, had some appetizers and drinks, and played a few games. This is also where the blowup doll "Peter Pecker" made his debut and became a mainstay of the party.

The first damn picture had to be red boxed out. You can see where this night is headed. Kelly with her feather boa and her......ahem....."man" wand.

Greg was able to take about 45 seconds of the party before he bolted back upstairs. Can you blame him with all the Estrogen that was in the room?

Hi....ummmmm....can someone tell me where I can find my mother? Oh, behind the bar doing shots with the girls she just met 5 minutes ago! Okay, thanks just checking!!! Katie and Aunt Robin Aunt Robin and mom getting ready to play "Pin the Hose on the Firefighter." And yes, it is as dirty as it sounds! Katie, Kelly, and Aunt Robin

And introducing Peter Pecker....he was the life of the party. I had to compete with him for all of the girl's affection that night.

This is Suck & Blow and this one isn't as dirty as it sounds. In fact, it is a Burgess Party tradition. You grab a card, put it to your mouth and suck in to make it stay on your lips. Then try passing it to the other person by blowing it to their lips, while they suck in. Okay, maybe that does sound dirty. P.S. - Look at the shirt my sister made me..."Bride's Man of Honor." Every straight guys dream seeing two hot girls about to go mouth to mouth with nothing but a thin card between them and yet it is completely wasted on me! Katie Swan won again! That is three years in a row. And to boot, she wins a deck of "Hot Guy" cards to practice with. I guess we know what Katie will be doing until the wedding day! Katie and I

So, now we are in our limo on our way to Coyote Joe's. Our driver's name was Reggie (Reginald) and he was awesome! He was wearing a black and white checker patterned suit, white gloves, and took us all one by one under his umbrella to every door the entire night. We had a stretch Ford Expedition SUV limo. Weeeeeell, okay that is how we started the night. Then it broke down and so we ended the night in a Lincoln Navigator Stretch SUV limo. All the girls got cowboy hats before entering Coyote Joe's which is a country bar. We also put in a hot country CD to get the party started early. And of course our Bachelorette got the hottest hat of them all....a pink tiara cowboy hat that flashed colors within the tiara. This hat had Kelly Burgess written ALL over it! She was made to wear it. Peter Pecker playing the role of the lonesome cowboy. Mom and Aunt Robin singing in the limo...who knew Aunt Robin was a country girl. She knew all the songs!! Coyote Joe's was a really cool bar, except for the fact that it was loaded with wall to wall women which didn't bode well for the hottest Bachelorette Party in the United States. They wanted some men to buy them drinks and shake them loose on the dance floor. Oh well, at least there was a bull riding machine....more on that in a second. We looked really cool when we pulled up the bar because this is when our limo decided to malfunction. We pulled up, the limo stalled, Reggie re-started it and it stalled again. This little charade went on for about 3 minutes. It is hard to walk out of a stretch limo like you are the life of the party, when right in front of the door everyone sees your limo stall 15 times in a row. Amy and I Kelly and Amy Kelly, Katie, and Bridget Maria, Kelly, and Krissy Maria, Bonnie, Kelly, and Melissa Mom, Kelly, Katie, and Aunt Robin Erin, Kelly, and Amy Okay, everyone has a bad picture from time to time, but Kelly takes the cake with this one. It looks like she is about to chuck wood and build a dam. I am not posting it to be mean, but I made Kelly take a picture with all the girls at the bar, so this was the only one I had with Nicole and Aunt Robin. Katie, Maria, Kelly, and Krissy It's me, Aunt Robin's mouth on the left, and the back of mom's head on the right! The whole gang! What guy could be lucky enough to hang out with 13 beautiful women at one time? Oh, it was me. Eat your heart out guys! I have no idea..... Did I just get goosed? If they ever make the movie Mannequin 3, I think I am shoe in.

Please make sure to continue on to Part 2. Due to technical difficulties this is now a two-parter.

Kelly's Bachelorette Party - Part 2

2008-09-16T15:32:00.027-05:00

....due to some serious space issues (probably as a result of the large video on this post), I had to cut this blog into two parts. Kelly's nemesis that evening....The Bull!!! Kelly getting ready to mount the bull. The crowd was huge, the pressure was on! She came, she saw, she conquered!!! This already about 1 minute in. The first 30 seconds of this video you think she has it easy and then all of sudden.....bam! After Coyote Joe's, we hit a little snag in our plan at the last bar, but no need to get into the specifics of that one. We hit two bars right next to each other....one was a dance club and one was more of a martini lounge. The owner of the martini lounge felt so bad about our experience with the bouncers a few minutes earlier at another bar that he gave us a free bottle of champagne. This also was about the time I started getting tipsy, so this was the only picture I got at those two bars.

My mom enjoying a glass from our free bottle of champagne.

And now we are on our way back to the house and well, you will just have to witness this for yourself.

And this is the point in the evening, when things started to downward spiral into "Girls Gone Wild." Example A: Kelly decides to limo dive, falls, lands in some girls lap, and I snapped this gem. Now I just need to decide like Spiderman, if I want to use my power for good or evil because I could cause A LOT of evil with this picture. Aunt Robin wearing the pink cowboy hat I can almost promise you that my mom attempted to hit a high note. Kelly and I have seen this face many times in church and we always know that means to plug our ears. Something must have been funny because Melissa, Katie, and Bridget are cracking up! Aunt Robin makes friends with Peter Pecker. My Uncle Randy better be careful, this guy was a smoooooth talker. Erin cracking Aunt Robin up This picture explains about the last ten minutes of the limo ride where Erin crawled across the floor (which had just been steam cleaned and her pants were soaked), physically assaulted "Peter Pecker." Look at Kelly's face....priceless! A cute picture of my mom in the cowboy hat

The Night of Terror

2008-09-08T16:06:00.012-05:00

Boy oh boy did I have a night from Hell last night! It isn't often I have such heavy things to blog about, but today is a extreme exception. Let me begin this story by saying I live on the ground floor of an apartment building which is in a generally good area of town. I mean I can't really complain based on some places in the city I have seen. Let me also start by saying that Jon ALWAYS spends the night at my house on Sunday nights (at least for the previous 8 months), but this particular Sunday night he was really sick, so he stayed at his house and I stayed at mine. I was awoken abruptly last night by a sound near my bedroom window....a sound which if you have cats, you are very familiar with. I also began hearing my vertical blinds shuffle and sway, also a sight that is not uncommon with cats. However, it was the actions that followed that let me know, this had nothing to do with my cats. I have a portable air conditioner which sits on my floor, but requires about a 3-4 inch air vent strip which you close and lock into your window and which goes from the bottom of the window to the top (I have a window that opens and closes vertically). I flipped over in bed to look at my window and was prepared to yell at a cat when I saw the top half of the air conditioner vent strip fall through my blinds. I shot out of bed thinking it was a bad dream. As I tip-toed toward the window, I suddenly saw a face through the slits in my blinds. I suddenly felt the life drain from my body and before I had a chance to react, a man's hand shot through my blinds towards my face. I am convinced this was completely coincidental and that he was not reaching for my face, but trying to find something to grab onto in my apartment to help force his way through or further open the slot in my window with the force of his body. My first instinct was to punch his hand and arm as hard as I could, so hard in fact it slammed against the wall of my window (I am glad in a time of panic my first instinct wasn't to run away screaming like a schoolgirl). He immediately pulled his arm back through the window and took off running. He was wearing black pants, a black a shirt, and a black ski cap. I am sorry, but an outfit like that means you are up to NO good in this world!! I looked at the clock and it was 12:35 am. I called 9-1-1 and the cops came relatively quickly. However, that was the only quick thing that would follow that night. We had to wait for a finger print technician to come and dust for finger prints. This process of waiting for the technician and the actual process of dusting for prints meant it was nearly 3:00 am before they left. I was exhausted, yet wound at the same time. I just laid in bed wondering what would have happened if he had gotten in. Was he just a burglar or was he a murderer or maybe a rapist. I felt so mad that another human being could violate you in such a way and such a blatant disrespect for the law. I mean you hear about these things every day in the news, but when it happens to you, it just feels different. And not in a "oh, pooooor Keith" type of way, but in a "I am mad as hell and think I could kill this guy if he ever tries to return" type of way. I will keep you updated if they find this dude based on the fingerprints, but man oh man am I glad to be moving to the burbs with Jon and getting out of this apartment.

Like an episode of CSI, they dusted my ledge for fingerprints. You can still see the black residue.

This is the air conditioner vent strip that goes vertically in my window. I had my window shut tight and bolted up against this. You can see the finger print dust. This is the side that would have been facing the guy who pushed it in my window to try and get inside.

You can see that the strip's purpose is to let the moisture from the portable air conditioner unit be blown out via that giant tube!! They dusted the whole thing for prints.

Just a quick visualization to show how damn close my bed is to the window. Try waking up to some dude trying to bust in. You can just see the silver air conditioner unit itself peeking up in the corner of the picture....this is what the hose and vent strip attach to.

Just to show how close my apartment is to the ground.

And another....

That residue on the windows is the dusting from the technician. You can't see it very well in the daylight, but I can guarantee you I won't be trying to open my blinds tonight to take pictures, so this will have to do.

And again, if you can even see the residue....

Colorado - Part One - The Surprise

2008-09-02T19:02:00.000-05:00

Okay, I am smart enough to tell you in the beginning, I don't think my life is interesting enough to support viewers, but this has now become more of a journal than a blog, so I understand if the length of this particular one forces you to look elsewhere for entertainment. BUT, a couple of huge events happened to me over the weekend and I don't want to forget a minute of it. The Surprise Jon had been telling me for months that I needed to "give" him Labor Day weekend, which included that he was going to plan an event of some sort, but be hush hust on the details. He even gave me a packing list on Thursday before Labor Day weekend which lead me to believe I needed to pack things for an Up North trip to go camping/golfing. Jon pulled off the surprise of the Century when I arrived as instructed at his work on Friday. He gave me plastic baggies and empty 3 0z. bottles and told me to put any of my toiletries in those bags and bottles that I wanted to take with me. And that moment I knew it must have meant we were going on a plane. And on a plane we went....all the way to Denver, CO. From there, we hopped in a car....errr....they were out of cars so we hopped into a mini van and headed to Breckenridge, CO. Friday Me sitting in the back seat of my car as Jon drove it to a Park N' Ride. Shocked out of my skull!! Me sitting at the airport Where We Stayed and How We Got Around

Our lodge in Breckenridge, CO. Ummmm, what can I say about this place except go there.....drop everything and go there now. Mountains all around you, cute little Main St. with shops/restaurants, and the room was awesome!!

Our Minivan. It is really hard to be 2 cool 30 somethings when you roll up in this bad boy and don't even have a damn kid!

Minus three cool points for the fatherly wave from within a mini-van, even though you are not a father.

Saturday The view from the bottom of Vail....yes, the bottom of Vail. What about the top of Vail you say??

Jon taking a Gondola ride to the top of Vail

The view from the Gondola

The views from the top are breathtaking!! A couple of ski runs behind me. Don't say ski "passes" or Jon gets his panties in a bunch! Let's just say he is an expert skier and I am not!!

Jon and I

Jon mountain biking....it was so gorgeous everywhere you looked.

Me on a mountain bike. So glad we were going down the hill and not up.

Okay, a SUPER DOOPER significant event happened between the mountain biking picture and the picture taken below, but it needed its own special post, so you will have to go to Part 2 to get caught up!!

Jon sitting in a patch of wild flowers with a view of the mountains.

Sunday

A group shot of all the riders including Jon and I. Look at that blue sky!!

Another group shot, a little more close up.

Me on my horse Stanford. I think he was like gay Stanford from "Sex and the City" because he had all kinds of attitude and did not want to follow the rest of the group. Good thing he had such an expert handler........me. That reeks of sarcasm!!

Jon on his horse Hawaii. Jon had to help me straighten out my horse a time or two by giving me some pointers.

Overlooking Lake Dillon just on the outskirts of Breckenridge.

It was one of those days in between cloudy, rainy, sunny, and I think this is the day we saw a rainbow....go figure!!

Okay, not a good picture of me, but nice scenery.

Monday

Jon on a ski lift up to Keystone

The view when you get to the top of Keystone

Our return to the overlook of Lake Dillon was on a much sunnier day! Rocks, water, trees, and mountains. Could you ask for a better picture?

And another....

And another....this place just makes it too damn easy! Loveland Pass is a big scary road that takes you through the mountains and was the main of getting to the big ski resorts until the tunnel was made. It is also the Continental Divide between the East and West.

Colorado - Part Two - The Proposal

2008-09-02T19:01:00.001-05:00

So this is a two-parter blog. I had two fantastic things happen this weekend, the first one is in my previous blog entitled Colorado - Part One - The Surprise. This "Part Two" event deserved its own space which is the reason for this two act play if you will. Jon and I woke up on Saturday like any other day and went about our business as usual except that we were in freakin' CO.....wooo hooooo!! We drove to Vail and went up the Gondola, went mountain biking, and ate lunch. We then went on a hike higher up the mountain. Of course this is the time my body decides to reject physical activity....I was sweaty, my lungs burned from the high altitude, and every 10 steps or so, I had to sit down and take a break. Naturally, it took a while to get to the peak of the mountain. When we got up there, Jon pointed out a few things, and told me he wanted to show me one of his favorite spots (he has skied and visited this spot many times) on Ptarmigan Ridge.....a spot that holds great significance in his life due to its very existence in nature, but also the symbolic nature of the mountain itself. And he did not disappoint, it was extremely beautiful. He proceeded to sit me down and read me a wonderfully written letter that allowed him to say all the things he wanted to say without forgetting a single word. The letter concluded with a commitment proposal which is the equivalent of an engagement. I of course leaped out of my seat and said "yes," jumped up and down screaming like a psycho and followed it up with a rendition of ...."going to the Chapel and we're gooooooooooooooonna get maaaaaaarrrrrrrrieeeeeed." I later found out that Jon had pre-called my mother and father to ask their permission which was just the absolute icing on the cake!! We decided we don't want only one of us wearing an engagement ring, as is typical in straight couples. Soooo, we will be exchanging rings during the actual Commitment Ceremony we plan for next year. Jon and I are so excited to start this next exciting chapter in our lives and I will forever remember the who, what, where, and when of this fantastic, once in a lifetime experience. It was a living dream come true! Me still upright and walking towards the "eventual" spot and right before I started my downward spiral of having to sit and rest every 5 steps.

Jon looking fit as a fiddle and me taking a picture from the ground where I was sitting taking my 68th rest stop.

You thought I was kidding. I don't consider myself an unhealthy human being, but that high altitude can be a killer on the bod. The view while Jon read his letter and proposed. The heavenly view Jon looking like a load has been taken off of his shoulders after I said yes!!!! Okay, not my best picture, but we had to capture the moment somehow!!

Denise and Tim Visit

2008-08-25T18:36:00.022-05:00

My friends Denise and Tim came for a visit this past weekend. And while they were here only a short time, we managed to fit in as much fun, laughter, drinking as possible. It was great to see them and as always, we were all sad that our time inevitably came to an end. But it only gets us all excited for the next we are able to get together and have another set of amazing adventures.

Friday Night - They arrived on Friday night at around 6:30. After a quick clean-up session, we headed out to the Rock Bottom Brewery. After dinner and a few drinks, we headed out to the Shout House were we drank and sang the night away. Our two songs were played immediately....Runaround Sue and Big Balls (by AC/DC) which got us pumped up. Unfortunately, I forgot my camera that evening, but did get some pre-bar shots.

Denise blow drying her hair. She blew a fuse, which ended up stopping the clock in my bedroom. When she woke up the next day with a horrible hangover, she looked at the clock which said 11:30 am. She thought she had slept the day away. Of course, it was really only 6:45 am.....ouch....we still got up and started our day.

Denise putting on makeup

Jon demonstrating to Denise and I how he can get his foot over his head. I couldn't be prouder, maybe I can make some dough on the side pimping him out to the circus.

Denise and Tim

Jon and I

Saturday Morning - As I stated earlier, Tim, Denise, and I were hurting on Saturday morning. Jon was a bit more responsible on Friday night because he had to drive home to take care of his dogs. Denise, Tim, and I did manage to make it out to the Farmer's Market, Sculpture Garden, and the Lake of the Isles. However, once again I forgot my camera which I blame on the alcohol. Denise and Tim did manage to snap a few picks, but need to get the camera developed. If I get the pictures, I will get them posted.

Saturday Afternoon - We made it out to the State Fair for a couple of hours. The greasy food did help cure our hangovers enough to encourage us to start drinking again when we got to Jon's.

Jon pointing something out to Denise and Tim as we waited for the State Fair Bus to pick us up.

Denise on the bus to the State Fair

Jon and I waiting in the ticket line

Jon unenthusiastically eating his Pronto Pup.

Denise and I thought it would be funny to put Tim under the Tiny Tim's Donut sign. He looks really excited.

Jon and Denise under the "Sausage" sign. Trust me, this wasn't a coincidence.

Denise and I in the Midway

Denise and I said we weren't going to leave until we got to play a game. Notice that their is a 6 year old boy on Denise's left and a 6 year old girl on my right.

As you can see from the picture, my balloon malfunctioned. Denise didn't win, but I got to go again.

Me vigorously waiting for my next round of 6 year old competition.

When I won, I heard 6 year old hearts breaking to my left and right, but I snagged my frog and did some gloating with my friends. They kept me safe from all the evil stares from the parents. We named the frog Nastia after the Gold Medal Olympian.

Saturday Evening - We played a little bit of croquet, ping pong, Balderdash, and then had a fire in Jon's fire pit. We brought out the couch that wouldn't sell at the garage sale last weekend and looked like official white trash. We were having a ball until the mysterious neighbor behind Jon's house that we have never met popped his head over the fence out of NOWHERE to read us verbatim the fire code which said we were to close to his fence line rather than just asking us to quiet down (we weren't being loud to begin with). That kind of put a damper on the evening and we were good an drunk anyway, so we just went to bed.

Just the way I like it...a drink in one hand...a croquet mallet in the other.

Jon's athletic swing

Denise took this puppy up-close after Jon had a great shot. When we looked at the pictures on my computer, his mouth was so big, he looked like he was going to eat us.

Tim is juggling and this is the best picture EVER because I snapped right at the time the blue ball looks like it is resting on his cap.

Denise and Tim posing before our giant Ping Pong tournament.

Jon's face after sipping my Bloody Mary. Let the record show that this is the 900th time he has tried a sip of my coffee, beer, or Bloody Mary and made that face. He keeps thinking that one time he will just start liking it.

Denise and Jon competing in a "who cane shove more pizza down their throat in one bit contest." By the looks of this picture, Denise wins. Jon is a close second below....

Jon feeding Nastia. She was hungry and starting to get cranky.

Don't worry folks, if Jon and I adopt children, I am sure we will have to go through parenting classes. And besides, I would NEVER let him do something so heinous. That is what the cheap tequila should be used for.

Ummmmmm....Denise after she has had 5 too many drinks. She starts off well, but then.....well, you will just have to see for yourself.

The smaller my eyes get, the better the drinks went down that night. I put the hat on being stupid and just never took it off the rest of the night.

I wish I could say this was the first time I had seen her this way!!

Don't judge until you've been there! I know a lot of dudes that like to do high kicks in a fisherman's hat, in an extra-small Viking's sweatshirt, with a giant stain on the front of it.

This is the fire pit

Tim, Denise, and Jon on the couch in front of the fire

Denise looking longingly at her man

Denise and her marshmellow.....do we need to leave you two alone?

Oh dear, there really is no explanation.

Sunday Afternoon - We came back into the city and had a BBQ down at the park by the river. We setup a Badminton/Volleyball net and played for nearly 5 hours. When we were done, we went to Minehaha Falls and rode a 4 person Surrey. We finished it off with some Dairy Queen.

Denise and Tim at the park

Jon in an action shot

A cute picture of Jon

Ahhhhhh....Denise and I

Denise going to town on a piece of corn

Jon playing Badminton

Oh, somtimes the Lord is so good to me. How is it that I could be so lucky to catch a Denise Pearson temper-tantrum on video? Tim was beating Denise at Badminton and she was not happy about it. He then starting messing with her....Jon and I are dying laughing.

Me in mid-shot. Notice my bright-yellow tennis shoes.

Jon and I at Minneahaha Falls

Tim and Denise at Minneahaha Falls

Jon, Denise, and Tim in our 4 person Surrey

A first-person video account of our time on the Surrey.

A group photo to end the afternoon

One Year Anniversary!

2008-07-21T17:19:00.003-05:00

Jon and I had our one year anniversary celebration this past weekend. I can't believe how fast time flies, but then again they say, "time flies when you're having fun." And I can say pretty confidently that Jon and I always mange to keep each other immensely entertained, even if we are just hanging out and doing nothing. We started the night out by watching the new Batman movie. We then went to the Melting Pot. For those of you who have a few extra dollars and hours to blow, I HIGHLY recommend this place....just for the dessert alone. It is a fondue restaurant which basically means you cook your own food. Even though you cook your own food, it is such a novel concept that you don't even realize you are cooking your own food. Okay, okay, now I have to talk about the dessert (wiping drool from lip). It was a chocolate/peanut butter fondue where we were given fresh pineapple, strawberries, Oreo crusted marshmallows, graham cracker crusted marshmallows, brownies, pound cake, and cheesecake to dip into it. We ate EVERY bit of our dessert. So, everyone raise your glass to many, many more years of happiness for Jon and I.

Me at the beginning of the night....starving and drinking a martini. The empty fondue pot was in front of me.

Jon posing with a variety of raw meats and veggies behind him....not for our table sadly.

Jon practicing his fondue dipping skills.

Jon and I were both miserable after dinner after eating so much. If there was a wheel burrow, we would have rode in it.

Family Visit - July 2008

2008-07-13T22:08:00.009-05:00

My family was recently in town over the 4th of July for their yearly visit. We had a ball doing no work and all play. Let's see, we played golf, went to the MOA and rode the new roller coasters (so fun!), went to Valley Fair, played more golf, had a cookout at Jon's, went out on the town, to the beach, and out to a fancy dinner at Outback Steakhouse! Time flies when your having fun and I was so sad to see them leave. Thankfully my sister is getting married soon and will give me a reason to be home for 5 or 6 days. In addition, this was only the family's second time hanging out with Jon and this time for an extended period of time. I am here to report with overwhelming positivity, Jon gained a special place in the crazy Burgess family. If he only knew what he was getting himself into. We are like the mob, hard to make it on the inner circle, but once you get in, you can never get out!! Ha ha, just kidding....I think! Sadly I didn't take as many pictures as I normally do, but that is because we were always on the go!!

After a few cocktails, we decided to sing Mr. Sandman and send it to my future brother-in-law and annoy the life out of him. Unfortunately, the entire video wouldn't upload and is a bit grainy, but you can get the idea.

Kelly models her "out on the town" outfit!

One of my new favorite pictures.

Jon and I....p.s., I bought him that outfit he is wearing. Gosh I am good!

Kelly and Dad

Mom, Kelly, and I

Same crew, different pose...

The Burgess's - Take 1. Dad grimaces like Hitler!

The Burgess's - Take 2. Much better dad!

Kelly and Mom on the way to the beach. Are they sleeping????

Not only do they look alike, they sleep alike too...arms crossed and mean-muggin'

Me in my fisherman's hat. I got totally fried that weekend and it required me to wear a hat to protect my balding scalp and face.

Jon's driving picture

Dad anticipating that arrival to the beach!

Mom sleeping on the beach

Jon, mom, Kelly, and Dad. Notice who is missing....me! That's right, I was so fried they had to set me up in the shade and rather than setting up camp right next to me, they opted for sunning themselves a considerable distance from me. I was caged like some common criminal.

A solution to the problem....me using a giant umbrella to shade myself. This is so NOT an acceptable America's Next Top Model pose! Ugh!

Camping: Part Two

2008-06-17T08:11:00.005-05:00

Jon reminded me that I left the funniest story of them all out of the camping entry and this story begs to be told. So as a reminder, there were six "walk-in" campsites which required about a half-mile hike back to your car, to the showers, dish wash area, etc. So needless to say, we were walking this path quite extensively each day, passing many other walk-in campers. All of the walk-in site parking was right in a row, so we got to see all the people at some point or another going to or from their car. Well, a large family with a bunch of small children came in a car with a Human Rights sticker on the back, which let us know they were down with the gays. We didn't know quite how down they were until Ken and Mike were returning from the showers. They were freshly manicured, had their hair impeccably placed, and of course a gay staple, had their tight fitting shirts on. They were walking down the path back to our site and passed this large family when suddenly out of nowhere, their 3-year old son screams out...."theeeeeyyyyyy'rrrrrrreeeee gaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy." We assume their parents at some point or another had explained this concept to the children, but damn that kid was good! When they told us, we were laughing so hard we were nearly crying.

Dollar Tree Misadventure

2008-06-15T19:42:00.005-05:00

What does a "Happy Birthday" banner purchased at the Dollar Tree buy you? A banner that is missing the r in Birthday.....so "Happy Bithday." FYI, don't buy birthday decorations at the dollar store. The sad thing is I hung it for Jon's birthday and didn't even catch it until he pointed it out. Technically, I should have only been charged $.93 if I were paying per letter.

Gay Camping....A "Fairy" Tale

2008-06-15T18:59:00.019-05:00

Inquiring minds want to know....what could possibly set gay camping apart from straight camping? I wish I could say nothing, but after a weekend in the wilderness with a gaggle of gays, my answer has to be....absolutely everything. From outward appearances, you would think nothing could be different as seen in the following picture:

But unzip one of those bad boys and you will have unleashed Pandora's Box, which apparently comes with a full set of freshly pressed embroidered pillow covers, a comforter with matching throw cover, and the two latest issues of Martha Stewart Living. I wish I could say this was staged, but let's be honest, gays don't really like to "rough it" in the wilderness. Seriously, this is not staged. See the magazines and the throw at the end of the bed. And they had an air mattress that elevated them nearly to the middle of the tent. Seriously, it was knee height. This is Ken and Mike's tent.

Friday Night:

We took it easy and cooked up non-normal camping fare which was a huge plus for me because I ate better camping than I do in my own house. BBQ chicken, red baby potatoes and carrots with Rosemary, and bakery buns.

Jon and Paige maxin' and relaxin'!!

Jon

The Thinking Man's pose...I was thinking "wow, we are REALLY gay!"

We had the best radio station EVER and Jon got into it by playing a little stick guitar! Earth, Wind, and Fire tribute band, here he comes!!

Threatening skies plagued us a good part of our trip and I only included this picture so I could even remotely begin to explain the picture that follows it.....

Jon wearing a bright orange poncho to avoid the ran. However, it also seemed to bring out the dancer in him as every time he put it on, he began to spin and twirl as seen here.

A tent fell on the Wicked Witch of the East, only her shoes remained.

Ahhhhhhhh......

Jon dipping into our boxed Pomegranate Margaritas. Wait, is he drinking out of a plastic wine glass?

Wait, Paige is drinking out of a plastic wine glass too! And I believe that is a lime garnishing his glass. Another difference between gay and straight campers.

Me basting the chicken. The smoke was so bad, I had to wear glasses.

The Master-Baster!

Eating Dinner

Saturday Morning

Travis, Paige, and I. Paige is holding the sausages we had for breakfast and I am trying to warm my hands over the griddle.

Saturday Afternoon/Evening

Pre-hiking picture...L to R: Mike, Ken, Jon, Paige, Travis

The most unflattering picture of me that has EVER BEEN TAKEN! From L to R: Mike, Ken, Candy Cantaloupes, Paige, and Travis. Seriously, don't I look like at least a B-cup.

Prior to entering the hiking trail. They look like part of the Gay Mafia.

Mike and I

Jon skipping stones

Just goofing around

Jon and Travis climbing trees

Video of Jon climbing trees or I should say attempting to get out of a tree he had climbed up.

Me cooking burgers. This was the first time I have EVER grilled burgers on my own.

Paige measuring rice in one of our plastic wine glasses.

Me riding my bike around the camp just waiting for the crew to get back so we can start drinking.

Gay as the day is long.

Notice Paige's finger....he is pointing out the fact that the "Alcohol is in it." Highly recommended for people who like to drink. They were delicious.

After a few cocktails, I was pretending to be the guys at the airport with the orange flares who guides the planes in to the gates.

Jon knocking back another one.

Sunday Morning

We were in an "walk-in" campsite which means you are have to haul your crap for like a half-mile in this wheel burrow thingy. Jon goofing around in it.

Surfin' Sufari

Keith "Lance Bass" Burgess

2008-06-13T15:17:00.008-05:00

Seriously, so I tried this face morph thing and thought it was so cool that the computer picks a celebrity for you to morph into based on your facial features. I was shocked, saddened, sickened, angry, and hurt that the system thought I looked the most like...frickin' Lance Bass of N-Sync fame! Puke-O-Riffic!! You don't even tell them if your gay or straight, but in my case they just must have known!!

MyHeritage: Celebrity Morph - Blank family tree - Ancestral chart

Jon's 31st Birthday!!

2008-06-09T19:39:00.015-05:00

So we celebrated Jon's birthday this past Saturday even though his real birthday isn't until the 11th. I was in charge of the party planning and though a huge fan of Sex and the City, I failed my girls miserably by making dinner reservations at 5:00 pm on a Saturday night. We went to the Loring Pasta Bar where we were the only people in the restaurant, the band was still setting up, and old people in wheelchairs who rolled by were pointing and laughing at us. Okay, okay, I learned my lesson. No self-respecting semi-young crowd of folks goes for a city dinner at 5:00 pm. Remember, I come from Michigan where anything goes. We had a great time at dinner and followed it up with ice cream cake, a backyard fire, games, conversation, and lots of laughs at Paige's house. Hopefully Jon was pleased with our efforts and had a wonderful birthday!!

Keith Forces Jon to Pose with each Party Guest....

Yes, we look like the "Ambiguously Gay Duo," except minus the ambiguous part....we just look like the gay duo.

Jon and Matt

Jon and Paige

Jon, Ken, and Mike

Jon and Heather The Loring Pasta Bar Keith and Paige

The birthday boy sucks down another one....just kidding....he only had one cocktail at the restaurant though it appears he got every last drop out of his glass.

The group photo!

Paige's Afterparty

1 large bucket whose directions actually encourage you to poor an entire bottle of vodka in side of it + 8 martini glasses = FUN, FUN, FUN!!

Peppermint-ini's....ummmmmm!! They are frozen and so Paige is scooping them into our glasses.

Somebody get the birthday boy another one STAT!

Heather and Mike amusing each other!

Breaking sticks....

After my fishing trip, I am almost a regular man's man. Look at me building a fire and whatnot! Those two years in Boy Scouts seemed to have really paid off mom and dad!

Paige and I with our fire poking sticks. That seriously is not meant to sound dirty, but no matter how I word it, it seems to sound wrong.

Time to Open Presents and Eat Cake....

Somebody looks excited...

Some vanilla Vodka

Movie ticket gift certificates

A new game and Jon's favorite....M&M's

His bow matches his shirt and trust me folks, that is not a coincidence.

M&M Blizzard cake....yummy yummy!

Blowing out the birthday candles...

Psycho chic

Mike and Keith trying to get the fire up and going again.

The Aftermath of Fishing

2008-05-27T19:37:00.006-05:00

Okay, so I went to the doctor's and he confirmed what a lot of people had already told me....I have second degree burns on both of my hands. They are swollen, red, and unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) you can't see the 1000 little blisters I have on my hand. It is disgusting. I would not wish this on my worst enemy and it is hitting the itchy phase!! Now I have to apply this cream to my hand's for the next week and then wrap them up in gauze. I look like the biggest tool on the face of the earth and all of my co-workers are making fun of me! I would just like to state for the record that I am not an idiot. I am not used to having to put sunscreen on the tops of my hands, but because of how you hold a fishing pole, only the tops were exposed. I will be used to it now!!

My left hand is not as bad as my right one.

My right hand...swollen, itchy, and red.

The front view....look at how the hand on the left hand side of the picture is fatter than the one on the right.

Up close and....let me hold my lunch back.....barf....

My cheeks are pretty rosy too! Jon thought my make shift moisturizer sock gloves needed to documented. Sorry folks, desperate times call for desperate measures.

Fishing Trip - Hillman, MI

2008-05-27T19:24:00.011-05:00

What??????? Keith's gone fishing! What's next....hunting, bear wrestling, or car repair? No folks, I am afraid to say this was a one time event. I'll call it a male bonding experience for me, my soon to be brother-in-law Greg, my dad, Grandpa, Uncle Randy, and cousins Austin and Nick.

We spent a beautiful Memorial Day weekend fishing, eating a crap ton of bar food (10 bar meals to be exact), and playing cards. While these are not normally events I would participate in and are definitely way outside of my zone of comfort, I think I did pretty damn good job of hangin' in there!! I always find that I have a great time and am glad to have the time to spend with the people I don't get to see very often.

Our cabin! It was a duplex cabin and had two separate living/eating/cooking quarters attached by a door.

I called this the "Body Shed." Still not sure what was in there, but it was in our backyard.

One of the views from our cabin.

NATURE AT ITS BEST!!!

THE RAMP-UP TO THE FISHING EXTRAVAGANZA!!!!

The very first day. I had to take a "before" shot just in case I didn't survive.

This was the "nice" boat. Let's just say that the motors were SO sucky on these boats that my dad had a few choice words with them. I think I saw him get in a fist fight with another one.

HOW MY DAD AND I SPENT OUR FIRST 3 HOURS FISHING...BROKEN POLES AND TANGLED FISHING LINE!

This is the pile of fishing line I had to cut off of one of my poles!

FINALLY, SOME REAL FISHING...

Captain Dad

Oh, he got one.....

My Uncle Randy's fish.... My Grandpa's fish....

My cousin Austin's fish....

A self portrait

My first fish....a Northern Pike. Poor guy got a hook through the eye, but when we released him back in the water, he didn't swim in a circle so I assumed his sight was just fine!

Not a big fan of touching the fish...so my dad got a picture of me with apparently the fish's tail.

I think my dad thought I was acting so ridiculous that he just held it up MY fish and I half held on to it. Haha....my plan worked EXACTLY!

Chalk up another one for Grandpa! Alright Grandpa, now your just gloating!

Another one for dad!

Dad and Greg fishing

Yawn....another one for Grandpa. This guy should have his own fishing show. But I don't think the guy who bleeps out bad words would be able to keep up with him, so maybe not.

My attempt at an "artistic" shot failed miserably.

Nick's fish

Captain Greg

Uncle Randy, Austin, and Nick fishing

Greg and Dad coming in for a landing

Okay, laugh ALL you want. See the follow-up blog and you will see that I am believed to have second degree burns on my hands. I had to wear gloves on the second to last day to avoid further damage.

Austin and Nick playing cards.

The last day....we are all glad to be going home.

The End!!!!

Misc. Pictures

2008-05-27T19:23:00.004-05:00

Do you ever have those miscellaneous pictures that you find months later on your camera? Well here are a couple of those such pictures that don't really have a home, so they are being put under the "miscellaneous" label.

This is me and one of my cat's Garbo Kitty (a.k.a Stewart). He was a bit of a garbage diver when I got him as a kitten so I called him Garbo Kitty and it just kind of stuck.

Jon and my other cat Sophie! Sophie and Jon have forged a very special relationship.

It is kind of hard to tell in this picture, but Garbo Kitty put his entire body inside a pair of my warm-up pants and only his head was sticking out. He looks like a creepy robot with his eyes, but I promise he is the sweetest little cat in the world.

He looks a little more normal here...

I don't know if he is singing, posing for America's Next Top Model, or just being Jon, but I snapped this little gem.

Twins Game

2008-05-12T08:46:00.011-05:00

Okay, I'll admit these aren't the best pictures we have ever taken. Jon and I went to the Twins game with Matt and Heather and sat in the really good seats, well atleast for us ($30). We were in the prime homerun territory, yet none of us were prepared with a baseball glove because we weren't used to having such good seats. Well, in the 2nd inning, a Red Sox homerun landed in the row in front of me, six seats to my left. I could have reached out and touched the guy almost. It was pretty amazing!!

Sadly, the Twins lost, but we still had fun.

Don't know what this is a picture of, except to show how close we were to the field and how close we were to homerum/foul territory.

Someone inflated a condom and started hitting it around. It hit Jon in the face....hysterical!

A candid shot of Jon!

Gross, I hate pictures of myself this close to my face. In other news, I think my acne medication is finally starting to work cause my face looks clear.

Tiling Jon's Kitchen

2008-05-12T08:13:00.006-05:00

How many gay guys does it take to level, tile, and grout a kitchen? The answer is apparently two. Jon & I spent this entire weekend re-doing the floor of Jon's kitchen. As a bit of back story, Jon's kitchen was at best "Grandma -Chic." This included a floral wall paper border, a very LARGE floral valance, and of course, floral tile (see pictures below). It wasn't his fault though...he just needed the right fashion eye and motivation to get the project off the ground....and of course that was me nagging him. Jon did his homework on the process and we picked out the tiles together. We spent Friday leveling his floor which consists of spreading cement like goop across the existing floral tile. We then spent all day Saturday laying down the tile. We then took Sunday to grout the floor. It was a long, exhausting process, but in the end it was a rousing success and Jon and I both were amazed at what we had accomplished together. And we also found out we can work together quite well at home improvement projects. The one downfall of this WHOLE process is we forgot to do before and after pictures so you will have to use your imagination as to the before picture....think Grandma...

FRIDAY NIGHT

This is the best before picture we have on the tile. Unfortunately, I did think of it until after we started applying the leveler. So, all the grey/black stuff is leveler, not his tile. Look at the flowers!!

This is while we were laying out the design of the tiles.

Jon practicing his rolling pin skills. After you lay the tile, you have to roll it like a pizza crust. That was one of my jobs!

SATURDAY

So, we have laid all the tiles and I am taking a break....ugh, what a lot of work it was to do. Jon posing after we cleaned up and were going to head out to the Twins game. You can't tell, but the floor wasn't grouted, but still looked a million times better. Psst...the valances were gone behind him too....thank God in Heaven above!! Okay, no blog would be complete without a stupid posing picture.

SUNDAY AFTERNOON

The cracks are grouted and Jon and I are stunned at what we have accomplished.

Look at how sharp it looks!!

Denise's Graduation

2008-05-03T08:09:00.001-05:00

Okay, so it isn't that I have been getting lazy and not posting lately. It is that not too many interesting things have really been happening. However, my best friend Denise did graduate from college with a Dietetics degree. I flew to MI and was able to watch her walk across the stage and receive her degree. I was very, very proud of her and all of her hard work. I was able to make her a gift, remember to get her gift into my packed bags, get on a plane, go to MI, get dressed up, drive an hour to her college, arrive on time, but I couldn't remember a damn camera!! So, I have absolutely no pictures to post! Some other people took pictures and promised me copies, so if I get them, I will post them!

WilsonPhillipsMcMakenBurgess

2008-04-05T11:07:00.005-05:00

This is what a pitcher of Cosmo's will do to you on a Friday night!!

Anil & Meg - Engaged!

2008-03-31T06:56:00.004-05:00

Two of my closest friends got engaged over the weekend! I couldn't be happier for them and no two people deserve this more! They have been dating for 5 or 6 years now (from my estimation) and buddy finally popped the question. They were busily calling people so I didn't want to stop and make them explain the whole "how did he do it" story, but I am dying to find out. Congratulations guys, I love you both!!

North Star Roller Derby

2008-03-30T09:55:00.032-05:00

Well, just when I thought I had done it all and seen it all....I was so, SO wrong. Who knew that lurking beneath the Minneapolis Convention Center, such a strange and exciting world existed. What world am I talking about??? Women on roller skates...skating in a giant circle....beating the shit out of each other.....with tattoos...and piercings....and large thighs.....shoved into net stockings. It was one of the coolest things I have done in a while and would recommend it to anyone. Dave invited Matt, Jon, and I to go with him and his new beau Ryan to the derby. We met Dave's friend Jodi there too! She was quite the Roller Derby connoisseur. We sat right next to the track where the threat of death was possible on every turn. Here are some of the best names EVER found on the back of the girl's Jerzee's, the referee's jerzees, or team names: Team Names: The Kilmore Girls (the scary Lesbian team) / The Violent Femmes / The Banger Sisters (the whitetrash team) /The Delta Delta Di (the pretty ones) Jerzee Names: Block-n-Deck-Her / Camel Toni / Claudi Eyesout / SockHer Mom / Jowanna BEAT Down / Maggie McFaceStomp / Freddy Kruelgirl Referee Names: Buster Hyman / The Clam / Stripe Tease Enjoy the pictures and videos!!

Dave greeting us upon our arrival Jon before the action starts! Matt looking scared at what we are seeing...Lesbian on skates!

Me seconding guessing why I am there...scared shitless!

The group sitting track side.

The Violent Femmes lining up in front of us!

The Kilmore Girls lining up in front of us before the match. I wouldn't want to run into a single on of these gals in a dark alley!

Okay, so they girls were lining up and guess who skated and stood right in front of me. Well, actually I should say she skated in front of me, went to stop, crashed to the ground, and then stood up. That is when I snapped this gem. I think she could have bench pressed me. Notice her leather corset.

One of the refs! A little warm up video!

Jon watching the action!

The real deal!!

A video of some derby action. I started the video sideways, but it does correct itself eventually!

Hmmmmmm, someone hitting the sauce a little too hard??

Okay, this video I did shoot sideways by accident. This HORRIBLE band was playing at halftime and Jon was ready to dance for fun. Just as I snapped the video, the song ended, Jon started dancing. It was hilarious! The band played such classics as "No More Fun in 2001" and "Headcase Heidi."

At the end of the whole game, the girls come around and great the eager fans! By this time, I most certainly was an eager fan!

Us taking a picture with a rollergirl - Moxie Mayhem!

The most AWESOME of the rollergirls - Medusa! You should see this girl skate, she kicked everyone's ass!

Timberwolves Game

2008-03-24T17:01:00.004-05:00

Jon, Matt, Dave, and I went to a Timberwolves game on Saturday. This would not normally be a blogable event, except the location of our seats were just ridiculous. I guess you can't expect much after paying $10 for a night of entertainment. In my estimation, we were parallel with the rafters. Already at such a high altitude, there were only 3 more available rows behind us that might have been worse seats if they had been taken.

However, after 1 beer, 2 vodka and cranberry's, 1 bag of deep fried mini-donuts, and a bag of popcorn (and that is just what I had), Section 219, row S, seats 9-12 definitly were the life of the party.

Left to right: Matt, Dave, me, and Jon!! Do you see anyone else around us?? Me neither!

Birthday Card

2008-03-11T14:48:00.004-05:00

While I appreciate the birthday cards I have received over the years, sometimes a card catches you in a certain mood on a certain day and you can't help but feel an array of emotions. Today, I received a card whose sentiment I felt was worth sharing. It said "laugh so hard that you go into silent laugh mode, and you come dangerously close to falling out of your chair, but you don't. Happy Birthday. That Happy." It made me remember all of these amazing times where people in my life have made me do just that and it plastered a smile across my face for the rest of the day. Mainly because every few minutes I would glance at it and think of another example from Jon, family, friends, or co-workers. We will call them mini-birthday gifts that nobody knew they were giving me....so thanks everyone!!

Jon in Acapulco

2008-03-07T12:14:00.005-06:00

Jon abandoned me in the cold, wet MN winter for the warm lands of Mexico. He and his family took a one week trip (yes, one week). According to the beautiful pictures, it sure looks like they had a great time. And I don't see any snow in the background, so I immediately got confused cause I forgot what that looks like. And being the world traveler that he is....he is turning around a week later and leaving to go skiing in Vail. My mom said to me the other day, "he is quite the world traveler, maybe someday you will ACTUALLY get to go with him." Touché mother...touché!!

Bruce Springsteen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-03-04T19:29:00.007-06:00

Hip hip hoooooooooorayyyyy!! My dream is finally coming true. Yes, say what you may about my dream, but its my damn dream! I have wanted to see Bruce Springsteen my whole life and Jon has finally made the dream a reality. He got me Bruce Springsteen tickets for my birthday!! Yes, its not my birthday today, but he will be skiing in CO, so he came over and surprised me tonight. And what a great time for a surprise as I have been sicker than a dog!

Ohhhh, and did I mention he made me a brownie cake and brought ice cream too!!! Another 1,000 points for the good guy!!

It's All Inside!

2008-03-01T15:36:00.002-06:00

Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty, I'm free at least. After 6 long months of being belittled, price gouged, penny pinched, reported to management, witnessed a racially motivated meltdown between a customer and an employee, and explained to by a cross-dresser why Lane Bryant's jeans are better than JCP's, I have decided to step down my post as "Keith - Customer Service Representative," as my name tag so eloquently states it. The bummer is I do lose my fat discount of 20%, but to regain my sanity back, I feel it is a small price to pay!!

Dallas

2008-02-12T11:28:00.002-06:00

Well, Jon and I are gone and back in what seems like the blink of an eye. Despite some horrible airline issues (cancelled flights, mechanical issues, being screened by the FAA 3 times, etc), we had a WONDERFUL time. It was our first time away without cats, dogs, JC Penney, US Bank, CH Robinson, cold, and we were in heaven. We got a 2007 black Volkswagen Bug and stayed in a hotel suite that had a kitchen, living room, bedroom, etc. Friday Night: After both working, airline troubles, and traveling, we took it easy when we arrived and just had dinner. We decided to call it a night pretty early in order to make the rest of our trip worthwhile since we were both EXHAUSTED. Saturday Morning/Afternoon: Saturday was an absolute blessing and was a great day in the history of Keith & Jon. 70-75 degrees and sunny. Jon and I started the day at the Sixth Floor Museum where we Lee Harvey Oswald "supposedly" assassinated JFK. We visited the Grassy Knoll. We then went on to the Botanical Gardens (the weather was perfect) in Dallas. We had lunch and then drove nearly an hour to Ft. Worth to the Stockyards. When we saw the endless rows of Harley's and cowboys, we knew we were not in our element. We decided to drive back to Dallas. Along the way we stopped at Mountasia Family Fun center for a little putt-putt golf and batting cages. Jon and I had a little wager of dinner on the putt-putt golf and I lost. Saturday Night: We went to a little hole in the wall BBQ restaurant for dinner. After a short rest, we got all dolled up and went out to the bar. It was very fun, except that smoke made us both very grouchy. We then both decided we were hungry and went to Denny's at 1:30 in the morning. Sunday: We woke up and went to the mall for a bit. We decided to go to the park due to the unusually wonderful weather. We stopped at Wal-Mart, bought flip-flops and a Frisbee and had a ball at the park. We took naps, basked in the sun, and just generally relaxed. Straight from the park, we went to Medieval Times. Jon had never been and I had been once. It was corny (as we expected), but still a good source of entertainment. Jon was a great cheerleader for our Knight. However that ended rather quickly when our Knight was the first guy killed with a sword to the gut. Boo hiss! We had a little ice cream and then relaxed for the rest of the evening. All in all, the trip was a rousing success!! Jon and I will forever be thankful for the little bit of sunshine. We got along famously and did a lot of laughing, exploring, and enjoying each other's company. Enjoy the pictures!!

Grassy Knoll Pictures

The Botanical Gardens

Yes, I am pretending to be riding in a canoe. Convincing I know!

Dallas in the background...on the outskirts of the Botanical Gardens.

These little houses were part of "Texas Town," a mini village in the Botanical Gardens. Yes, that is Jon in the corner window! Once a housewife, always a housewife!

Jon playing house!

Me kicking it Frontier style!

Jon waking up from his mud house nap!

Make me a sandwhich woman!

Hmmm?? Looks like Goldie Locks found a chair that is too small! Will she be smart enough to find a chair that's just right??

Nope! No one ever said Goldie Locks was a genius.

Don't ask! I love to take silly pictures, but never guessed Jon would get so creative. This is a masterpiece I must say!

This is a "Where's Waldo?"

Jon sweet talking his new friend...

Jon getting to second base with a female sculpture. Trust me folks that is the closest he has ever come to the real thing.

It's time for magic folks!! Jon and I have decided we may take this magic show on the road and make millions. Notice the serene waters....

Is that Jon's head emerging from the water making a ripple? Hmmmm, how did they do that?

A little closer for the non-believers!

Jon's head looks like it was especially meant to go between this group of berries!

A fish sculpture that I was digging!

My favorite shot by far! This was the best part of the whole gardens.

The center piece of the previous shot!

Thirsty Jon

Thirstier Jon...

I love frogs...seriously, why do I love frogs made of bronze, ceramic, etc.?

This frog was way too cute...I couldn't resist.

My new favorite Keith & Jon picture!

Putt-Putt Golf

We wanted to break ourselves in slowly. We were handed a hideously large helmet and bat. My baseball trading card...now worhth $.14 on the streets The backside of the card...my serious face!

Jon and I both tried and we didn't do half-bad.

Jon's baseball card...now worth a $.17 street value

There aren't words.... Jon risked life and limb in this cage. The balls were coming 75 miles an hour and when they hit the back drop, it made a thump like a body had fallen from an airplane. He hit a good 5 out of 20, a valient effort I must admit!! There are videos too folks, but they wouldn't upload. Boo hiss!!

Our black Bug! Sooooo cute!

Sunday Afteroon at the Park

Look at the form folks....this is how it is done!

So tough...don't beat me up please sir! This is serious...it was so beautiful! Medieval Times Jon being the nice guy that he is decided to share his drink with a guard. I was King for the day...

Jon was Prince for a day....

Jon slaugtering an innocent piece of chicken. Did I mention that in the Midieval Times, they didn't use silverware?

When our Knight was killed, Jon was shocked and saddened.

The Bug...notice Jon still has his crown on!

Hooters

2008-02-04T08:09:00.001-06:00

Jon and his band of merry men (Ken, Mike, and Paige) went to of all places.....Hooters! I was not there and might have served as the voice of reason, but I was busy slaving away at JC Penney. No, I think it was hysterical that they went and I give them a lot of credit for "playing it straight" in such a macho atmosphere. Check out the Hooters Girl in the background of Jon's picture. You know the only reason this picture exists is becauase nobody would believe him (including me) without verifiable proof.

I would say that is a proud face!! UPDATE: This just in...thanks to Mike, I have recieved a priceless pic of Jon and his origami. Even in such a straight place he can manage to be totally gay! Thanks Mike!

Julie & Alvin's Wedding

2008-01-28T11:21:00.000-06:00

Well, Julie and Alvin officially tied the knot on Saturday. Jon and I flew home and stayed with Anil and Megan. The wedding was beautiful, the reception was beautiful, but most especially, the bride was beautiful! Julie looked phenomenal in her dress and Alvin looked very handsome in his tuxedo. They did a great job with the wedding and were the most relaxed bride and groom I have ever seen. Anil, Megan, Jon, and I were joined by Lauren and her boyfriend Dave, along with Decky (my theatre director and professor from my days at EMU).

We had a blast!! And of course I started the night off looking clean and put together, but after a few free drinks (open bar) and a few spins on the dance floor, by the end of the night I was looking a hot mess!! The transition is evident in the pictures below as well.

Julie and Alvin saying their "I do's."

Table 17 was our table and became rather popular by the end of the night. Not becuase we are so cool, but because there was an open seat and the DJ sat with us and ended up giving us shout out's all night long!!

Jon and I

Lauren and Dave

Anil and Meg

Anil and Decky

The group...before our drinking and dancing transformation.

The beautiful bride Julie!!

The Groom Alvin!

Atleast I still have my tie on in this picture.

I don't know how I snapped right at the second the dance floor lights cut across buddy's face, but he is looking like a scary version of Batman's "The Joker."

Anyone who knows me...knows my love of themed pictures. Here, the whole table took the party favors (chopsticks) and took a picture with them. The transformation begins...

Bring on the silly pictures!

I couldn't be prouder!!

Jon looking like he is smelling a party-goers long, luscious locks.

Ahhhhh, buddy and Meg slow dancing!

A prom picture!

Family Christmas 2007

2007-12-30T21:39:00.001-06:00

I went home for Christmas to ye ole Flint, MI. It was nice to see the family again, but I was like a nomad traveling from home to home to home. It was nice this year that we were able to have a very relaxed Christmas that didn't involve us rushing around from place to place hauling gift after gift. By far, the most enjoyable experience was Guitar Hero that my sister got from her fiance Greg...hence the many many pictures of family members holding a guitar. I hope you enjoy the pictures. There wasn't any consistency, mainly a lot of random pictures.

My nieces...Sasha and Suki

Ther are no words....

Okay, so not my BEST picture by a mile, but I was having fun, despite the look of agonizing pain!

Kelly pretending to know what Greg got!

Kelly pretending to be suprised by Greg's gift!

Aunt Norma

Jon & Keith's Christmas

2007-12-21T08:38:00.000-06:00

Jon and I celebrated our 1st Christmas together. We managed to squeeze it in between his arrival back from a week long trip to CO, my insane JC Penney schedule, and my next day departure to MI. It was a ton of fun and I cleaned up like nobody's business. Jon ended up getting me leather gloves (black and brown), a Vail, CO sweatshirt, a sweater, sweat pants (designer...ha ha), and an Ipod Nano which is the coolest thing I have ever seen!!

The helicopter that Jon got as a gift from Matt. We played with it for a long, long time until a collision with a wall caused a Black Hawk Down.

Jon's Christmas Tree

Jon opening one of his 600 JC Penney shirts

A very staged reaction if you couldn't tell!

Me opening my last gift from Jon, what could it be???

My reaction was to get mad at Jon for buying me such an expensive gift (Ipod) so he caught be going Jooooooooooooooooonnnn!!!!!!

Since Jon and I are very much homebodies, we are always looking for ways to increase the excitement in our lives. We have both found we like progression pictures. Here is picture 1 of 3...me collecting ALL the wrapping paper (and there was tons of it) from our opened gifts.

Me holding the wrapping paper in a giant ball (seriously, it was a sin how many gifts we got each other).

Me throwing the paper in the air and letting it shower over us!

Okay, not our most glamorous picture, but you get the point!

Jon's an Unlce!!!

2007-12-17T08:37:00.000-06:00

Jon's sister Jill had her first baby on 12/17/07. He was 8 lbs, 3 0zs. and his name is Cody Allan Dunham. Cody was able to celebrate his first Christmas this year and Jon was more than happy to be a part of it.

CH Robinson Christmas Party

2007-12-15T08:29:00.000-06:00

For our CHR Holiday Party, the group of 11 of us went to the Brave New Workshop theatre and saw the funniest (seriously...it was hilarious) play - "Stuck In The Manger with you or Carol on, My Wayward Son" (I recommend this to everyone!!) and to dinner at Chino Latino! We all had a great time!! The show, food, and company were a ton of fun!

Greg, Mindy, and I having a couple of $23 tequilla after dinner drinks

Greg and Nancy

Barb and Frank

Jim and Michelle

Katie & Kathy Jo (Katie is Kathy Jo's Dauther)

My date...sadly Jon was skiing in CO.

Mindy and Michael

Jon

2007-12-13T22:06:00.000-06:00

Okay, this was just a post to show everyone my new favorite picture of Jon.

Thanksgiving

2007-11-23T07:57:00.000-06:00

Okay, so Jon and I found ourselves both alone on Thanksgiving at the same time. Me...for obvious reasons. And him....well, his family was all in IA celebrating with his sister. He would have probably gone too, but like me, he was stuck working the day after Thanksgiving. Boo hiss! We decided to give cooking a try and though we didn't make a full-on turkey, Jon made some awesome turkey breasts and mashed potatoes. Meanwhile, I made some green bean casserole and the worlds most AWFUL apple crisp. It wasn't my fault though, I didn't remember to bring the right size baking dish and apparently folks...that is ACTUALLY important despite what you might think. We also decorated Jon's tree and decorated my entire house the previous night. We took some pictures to commemorate our 1st official Thanksgiving together. Keep in mind, MOST of these pictures we were being silly and posing like Barker's Beauties!!

The spread!!

Jon, welcoming everyone to the table....err, me to the table.

Me enjoying the delightful aroma of Pillsbury Crescent Rolls

Can you tell we were getting desperate for table angles?

High class, drinking wine out of a martini glass

Our favorite shot of the day....the overhead!!

Part 1 of 2: Jon making a pool in his mashed potatoes, watch out....

...here comes the gravy!

Jon in front of the impeccably decorated Christmas tree...and of course with Hershey!

Wow, look at that beauty...and the tree looks good too!

House Party - 2007

2007-11-18T19:38:00.001-06:00

Well Jon and I hosted a house party at Jon's house in Cottage Grove. After weeks and weeks of prepping food and games, the big event finally arrived. We were rather pleased with the turnout and mix of people that graced us that night. We had an awesome time and had a lot of laughs. We started with an appetizer/cocktail hour. We followed that up with a taco buffet on only the best paper plates money can buy. We followed that with some games which can really only be described in the pictures below. And finally, we did a bit of karaoke-ing. It was an absolute blast and hopefully can be an annual affair!!

Jon and Paige trying to open a bottle of wine with a screw and pliers???

Matt and Dave

Sara and Kim (Jon's cousin)

Mike and Ken

Paige and I

Yo quiero tacos con mis amigos!

Okay, this does require SOME explanation I guess. This is musical chairs...however there is a new twist on a very OLD game. You put bags of silly clothing/silly items/costumes/accessories/etc under each chair and each time the music stops and a person finds a chair, they must reach under it and pull out one of the items without peeking in the bag. Here are some of the pictures...proceed with caution!!

Uhhhhhh, creepy!!

The final outcome!

Nice moves Dave!!

Jon and I made a bracket of our Ping Pong Tournament. We went all out as you can see!!

Ken showing us best ping pong moves!

Here is another fun game we played! It is a relay race around the ping pong table where the two competitors must wrap nylons around their waist that contain a grapefruit in the bottom. They must use a pendulum motion from their hips to push the ping pong with the grapefruit.

Sara and I nearing the finish line!!

Jon and Dave caught in the act of singing!

Kim and Jon caught in the act of singing. Notice in both pictures, Jon doesn't have a mic, but he did have a drink on the table behind him!

Matt singing a Foreigner song!

Need I say more??

Kelly's 30th Birthday

2007-11-02T11:16:00.000-05:00

So, after all the planning and hoopla, the party is finally over! It was a rousing success, even though the ENTIRE family showed up to the wrong restaurant. Due to the mix up and being against the clock, the family resembled something close to a Benny Hill sketch. We immediately went into fast forward mode and looked like a group of mental patients who had escaped the Psychiatric Ward.

Kelly seemed truly surprised, even though our entrance into the party was not quiet nor graceful. Nobody in my family would have made a good thief. She shed a few tears, made her rounds to all the guests, and received some fabulous gifts. The food, drink, and company were terrific!

Jon made the trip with me and he received rave reviews from the family so I guess that makes it official. He was great sport during all the travel and party trials and tribulations.

The Birthday Cake! Kelly catching up upon arrival... .....more catching up! Denise, Corrie, Jon, and I Grandma Burgess and Kelly....it isn't Kelly's fault that she had so many shiny trinkets on her shirt...we made her do it!! Grandma B and I My mommy and I!! The new family...Dad, mom, Kelly, Greg, Jon, and I

EMU Homecoming 2007

2007-10-26T08:23:00.000-05:00

So I made the long trip home to my undergraduate days at EMU for my 4th Annual Homecoming Blowout with my old college friends from CloseUp Theatre Troupe. We a little get together on Friday night at Sticks and Aubree's. It was just Anil, Megan, Lauren, Liz, Eric, and I. We had a great time and put on a nice display of drinking (that is my excuse for the pictures).

Saturday we had an awesome turnout. It was cold, rainy, and windier than hell, but I had the time of my life. It was also Mary Jo's birthday so we had two reasons to celebrate. EMU ended up winning the game, but I was too busy sleeping off my morning's alcohol. I am not proud of that, but how else was I going to gear up for the evening's events.

We rented out Frenchie's and just had the best time ever. We saw people who we NEVER even expected to see and hadn't seen in years and years. It was just so good to see everyone and reconnect, even if only for a weekend.

I am already putting aside money for next year's trip! I just hope Jon can go with me so he can meet all of my wonderful friends!!

Friday Night - Aubree's and Stick's

Saturday - EMU Homecoming Tailgate

Saturday Night - Frenchie's

Pumpkin Carving

2007-10-13T20:13:00.000-05:00

Jon and I carved pumpkins this weekend and had a wonderful time! While I would like to take credit for our carvings, we traced them from a book. Jon carved an alien with an attitude problem (I think the alien is flipping us off, but the jury is still out). I tried to carve a cat and after some minor surgery to re-attach its tail that had been accidently amputated, it actually came out resembling Garbo or Sophie. Our hardwork could not go unnoticed so we naturally had to take some pictures to commemerate the event. I hope you enjoy!

Jon's pumpkin on the left, mine on the right!

This is my kitty cat, thankfully you can't see the pins sticking into his tail to keep it upright! Though he followed the outline, I swear the left hand is making the "Rock-N-Roll" symbol and the other hand is flipping us off....you be the judge! Jon with the Playgirl pose!

North Shore

2007-09-29T12:37:00.000-05:00

Jon and I went to the North Shore last weekend and had a great time. Yes...it rained almost the ENTIRE weekend, but we didn't let that hamper our good time. We did manage to have about 4-5 hours of no rain where we fit in some golf amongst the beautiful changing trees and a short (super short cause it started to rain) hike. Besides that, we took it easy, did a bit of sight seeing, and tried to take in a bit of the local cuisine. The trees were beautiful despite the rain, but I have to be honest, after a lot of talk about MN's Fall Season, I think MI could give MN a very, very good run for its money.

Company Work Outing

2007-09-22T17:46:00.001-05:00

We decided to do to tour of all of our houses (minus Michelle's). It was so fun and interesting to see where each of us lives and how different our lives are outside of the office. It was a fun, fun night!!

Mindy, Michelle, and Barb on my rooftop!

Me, Michelle, and Barb on the rooftop.

Michelle, Mindy, and Barb in my apartment!

Barb's husband is a very talented artist and did a life size rendition of of a man named "Earl." I had heard about this legendary picture and so the gals felt a need to pose with him.

Mindy and I at Chino Latino's!

Michelle and I at Chino Latino's!